Ever get showered with compliments, but instead of basking in the warm glow, you kinda wanna crawl under a rock? If you're a childhood trauma survivor, this might be familiar. Here's the thing: accepting compliments can be surprisingly tough when your inner voice plays a broken record of negativity.
Why?
- Trauma Rewires You: Repeated negative experiences can shape your core beliefs about yourself. Words like "worthless" or "unlovable" might echo louder than any compliment, creating a dissonance between external praise and your internal reality.
- Fear of them being taken away: You might worry that the flattery is temporary, waiting to be snatched away like a rug pulled from under your feet. Past betrayals can make it hard to trust unexpected kindness.
- Imposter Syndrome Takes Center Stage: That little voice whispering "you don't deserve it" becomes the loudest cheerleader, making acceptance feel like a fraud.
But hey, here's the good news: 
- You're Not Alone: This struggle is more common than you think. Trauma survivors often wrestle with accepting compliments, even when they desperately crave them.
- It's Rewireable: The good news is, your brain is constantly learning and changing. With awareness and effort, you can challenge those negative core beliefs and build a more positive sense of self.
- Baby Steps Lead to Big Changes: Start small. Acknowledge the compliment, even if it feels awkward. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that kindness is deserved, not earned.
Here are some tips to navigate the compliment conundrum:
- Mindful Appreciation: Instead of dismissing the compliment, try acknowledging it with phrases like "Thank you, that's kind of you to say" or "I appreciate you noticing."
- Challenge the Inner Critic: When negativity creeps in, ask yourself: "Is this belief based on my past experiences or my present reality?" Remind yourself that you are worthy of praise.
- Celebrate Small Victories: Every time you accept a compliment with grace, celebrate! It's a step towards breaking free from the shackles of your past.