Compliment Conundrum: Why Saying "Thank You" Can Sometimes Feel Like "Ugh"

Compliment Conundrum: Why Saying "Thank You" Can Sometimes Feel Like "Ugh"

Ever get showered with compliments, but instead of basking in the warm glow, you kinda wanna crawl under a rock? If you're a childhood trauma survivor, this might be familiar. Here's the thing: accepting compliments can be surprisingly tough when your inner voice plays a broken record of negativity.


  • Trauma Rewires You:¬†Repeated negative experiences can shape your core beliefs about yourself.¬†Words like "worthless" or "unlovable" might echo louder than any compliment,¬†creating a dissonance between external praise and your internal reality.
  • Fear of them being taken away:¬†You might worry that the flattery is temporary,¬†waiting to be snatched away like a rug pulled from under your feet.¬†Past betrayals can make it hard to trust unexpected kindness.
  • Imposter Syndrome Takes Center Stage:¬†That little voice whispering "you don't deserve it" becomes the loudest cheerleader,¬†making acceptance feel like a fraud.

But hey, here's the good news: ‚ú®

  • You're Not Alone:¬†This struggle is more common than you think.¬†Trauma survivors often wrestle with accepting compliments,¬†even when they desperately crave them.
  • It's Rewireable:¬†The good news is,¬†your brain is constantly learning and changing.¬†With awareness and effort,¬†you can challenge those negative core beliefs and build a more positive sense of self.
  • Baby Steps Lead to Big Changes:¬†Start small.¬†Acknowledge the compliment,¬†even if it feels awkward.¬†Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that kindness is deserved,¬†not earned.

Here are some tips to navigate the compliment conundrum:

  • Mindful Appreciation:¬†Instead of dismissing the compliment,¬†try acknowledging it with phrases like "Thank you,¬†that's kind of you to say" or "I appreciate you noticing."
  • Challenge the Inner Critic:¬†When negativity creeps in,¬†ask yourself:¬†"Is this belief based on my past experiences or my present reality?" Remind yourself that you are worthy of praise.
  • Celebrate Small Victories:¬†Every time you accept a compliment with grace,¬†celebrate!¬†It's a step towards breaking free from the shackles of your past.


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